Riven's Rambelings

10 Year Anniversary

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 17:54:40 GMT

Today I woke up and came downstairs to watch my children play in the chaos that is our living room. My son had taken out all his cars and lined them up perfectly in a row then moved on to collect various items and toys from around the room to make his vehicles ramps and roads. My daughter, of course, wanted to get in on that action. She promptly pounced on a bit of miniature railroad and tried her best to help her brother despite his exclamations of “No! No Bella!”

Through all of this my poor husband was sprawled on the couch, trying in vain to get a little more sleep. See, my son wakes up at an ungodly hour and insists on torturing his father by waking him up as well. We didn’t get into bed until 2:30 a.m. or so which means that the T-man was exhausted. I switched from watching them to staring at him. He is always doing things like that, waking up early so that I can sleep in or getting me things that I could get on my own. He likes to spoil me.

Even after 10 years of being with me, he likes to spoil me.

10 years ago in the week just before thanksgiving, T-man and I officially started going out. We moved in together sometime shortly thereafter and have been with one another since. 5 years ago we made everything official and got married. Since then we have had two beautiful children.

It seems like so much has happened but when I look at him I feel much the way I did about him 2 years, 5, or even 10 years ago. It is hard to comprehend how much we have changed and yet how little our emotions have. We’ve been through many, many hard times and some really great good times. We’ve argued, we’ve laughed (there was a lot more of that than the arguing), and we’ve grown with one another. We are content with one another even when it’s hard to be pleased with everything else. I do not think I could have been as happy with anyone else.

I’m looking forward to what our future holds and I am glad that I will have him at my side as we face it. 10 years from now I think I’m going to look back and be even more amazed. I’m thankful that I can do that.

Here’s to a lifetime of being spoiled!

Will Write For Cash

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:45:46 GMT

So. I’m sitting here at home going through a list of scholarships I could apply for. I’ve applied for dozens in the past but have only ever received money through apps with the college. It gets kind of defeating when you try and get nothing from your effort. Still, if I do not at least try then I won’t even have the possibility of receiving a scholarship.

I have found one potential scholarship that requires an essay to be written on the book Atlas Shrugged. The essay questions seem rather interesting to me, which makes the idea of actually doing the work very attractive. This is the link to the site that promotes the scholarship:

http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_contests_atlas

I’ve never read the book, Atlas Shrugged. Mr. T thinks we have it somewhere upstairs buried amongst our vast collection of dust gathering literature. I’m afraid that if we did have it before Bella was born it might not have survived my great junk purge. I think we’ll go treasure hunting for it later tonight.

I’m searching for scholarships to augment our income. The whole lack of money bit is starting to stress me out a great deal. I am looking ahead toward Christmas with reservation, worry, and maybe a bit of shame and humiliation. We hardly bring in enough money to pay the greater portion of our bills, how can we afford to buy gifts for our children, let alone our family, without falling deeper into the black pit of despair?

The only light I see at the end of our tunnel is a minimum of two years away. This is when I will finally graduate with some sort of teaching degree. Our hopes rest on me actually getting hired at a school right off the bat. If this happens then I will be able to start contributing to our standard of living and life should get better.

A cynical little voice inside of me suggests that even then something is going to happen to mess it all up. The optimistic bit of me keeps fending off those thoughts with a chair and whip but sometimes it looses its balance and the ever waiting depression pounces as I am overwhelmed by all the frustration of today and what ifs of tomorrow.

Despite that, I do have a lot of good days. I try to stay positive and upbeat. Usually this works out to a pretty good balance with less negativity and more positive output. I usually have a lot of drive too, Motivation.

Just.. not lately. I’ve been really sick and lethargic these past few weeks which I think that has been detrimental to my grades. I’m a bit worried about this term. I do not think I am going to be able to pass all of my classes. The idea frightens me as I will be delaying the day I will be able to help my family if I cannot pull everything together by the end of the term.

Maybe its some sort of self destructive urge in me. Reacting to my self pressure? I don’t know. All I am sure of is that I need to be motivated again and all of the usual tactics I use to do so are not working now.

And on that note, I’m off to wrestle with reality again.

The Isabella Accident

Wed, 07 May 2008 01:19:55 GMT

On Monday at roughly 3:30 pm my daughter took a very bad plunge from the sofa arm to the floor. She twisted about on her way down and cracked the back right side of her head on the tile. After a few seconds of stunned silence she flipped herself about, put her hands to her head and started to scream.

This wasn’t your standard, “Ow! That hurt a lot!” scream. With in the first few seconds I knew that something was very wrong. I don’t know how to explain it. There was just a certain quality in the cry that sent all the “Oh Shit!” signals racing through me. I called Tony up, told him what happened, and we decided to watch her for a bit to make sure I wasn’t overreacting.

An hour later I managed to calm her down to whimpers and the occasional cry. She started to doze a bit, which made me extremely nervous, but she didn’t fall asleep completely. She kept clinging to me and snuggling in as close as she could get. I think her head was really hurting her.

Tony got home somewhere after 5pm. We drove to the store to pick up dinner fixings. We got home at 6:30pm only to discover Bella throwing up everything that was in her stomach into her lap. We decided to take her to the hospital at this point. I called the doctor’s office while Tony cleaned her up and was told to take her to the emergency room. We dropped Nathaniel off at my parents house and drove to Joe DiMaggio’s Children’s Hospital.

We signed in and suffered through a program on the TV that showed people artificially inseminating cows, and then those cows giving birth. It was both fascinating and disgusting. When they got to the cow C-Section clip a general uproar in the waiting room got the channel changed to something more kid friendly. During the wait Bella threw up again, all over me. Maybe it was the cows.. (Just kidding)

We were brought into the Trauma Ward and given a room with one wall painted with a really strange monkey comic. After a few more hours Bella was examined and we were given something to stop her nausea. We were then told that she needed a CT and had a wait ahead of us. Eventually she got one. All throughout this she was a perfect angel with only a few mild complaints. The biggest fuss occurred after the CT when they put an IV in her. She did NOT like that at all.

We were visited by the head of the trauma team who told us that she has a hematoma at the back right side of her head. They said that they were not sure if her skull was fractured and wanted us to stay the rest of the night so they could observe her. Also, they wanted the neurosurgeons to examine her since she had a head injury. Several more hours went by. Tony somehow propped himself up in two chairs and dozed while Bella curled up into me and slept fitfully for most of the night. She got less restless as the night wore on so I can only assume her condition was getting better.

Every time she seemed to settle down into a deep slumber a nurse came in to take her vitals. This occurred several times. It got to the point that I started to tell the new nurses that the blood pressure band they had for the arm was too small but that the leg band worked just fine. It got a little annoying since only one out of the four or five people who came in to do her vitals actually listened to me.

In the morning the neurosurgeons arrived and started to examine Bella. I think we climbed the ladder or important people because the last guy we talked to was the director of pediatric neurosurgery. After 3 separate visits from these guys I think they had a little meeting to discuss Bella’s condition. Her vitals were all excellent and she had stopped throwing up. In fact, come morning she wanted breakfast. The three decided to let us all go home because they felt that her body was dispersing the blood and that the damage will correct itself on its own. She was sent home with us with the stipulation that we bring her back tomorrow to be looked at by yet another Neurosurgeon, that we take her to her pediatrician within 24 hours, and that she have another CT done in a month or less to make sure she is doing well.

We got home some time after 6. We’ve bathed and bedded Nathaniel and Bella has fallen asleep on her father’s chest while I was typing this up. I’m about to join them in a few minutes as I haven’t had a great deal of sleep in the past two days. Neither has Tony.

Hope this brings everyone up to date on Bella’s accident.

Jim Butcher

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 04:15:07 GMT

Weird. Very weird.

Today on a whim I decided to check in on Jim Butcher’s live journal. He hardly ever posts there but when he does it is usually filled with lots of interesting information on writing. All the replies are for the most part sappy “I love you!” posts from loads of would be writers that are psyched that they are just a post away from the man who writes the books that currently have them hooked.

I will admit that I too have even fallen prey to temptation and posted on his LJ. I even laid out my hubby’s question for him to the man. Did I receive a reply? Of course not. I am not so cool. Or lucky. Whatever.

Anyway, back to my point, because there actually is one: the LJ had not one but two recent posts. The most recent was done yesterday. I blinked a few times. See, this guy posts like once or twice a year. I was stunned.

And of course the info sounds interesting and is useful and probably would help me out if I had the time to invest in it. If I could I would but can’t. Which is why he makes the big bucks and I stick with the goal of becoming a teacher.

Frustrated Voter

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:18:43 GMT

Four years ago I was a frustrated voter. Bush had yet again gained office and the democratic candidate did not appeal. Despite my dislike for Kerry I gave him my vote anyway as I did not want to see Bush in office again.

After Bush won I asked myself how I could have possibly made any sort of difference in the election. What conclusion did I come to? I should join a party and vote on who gets nominated so that it was more likely that someone I felt more strongly about had a chance of running for office. I left the ranks of the independent voters and registered to join the Democratic Party.

All throughout each and every year of Bush’s painful tenure I have consoled myself with the fact that it would only last four years, then three, etc. until the day when the primary’s started up again and we could vote for the Democratic Candidate.

I live in Florida.

Now, because the primary vote was moved up in the year, my vote for who I want the candidate to be means nothing. I am left feeling as cheated and disregarded as I felt four years ago when my vote didn’t oust Bush from the oval office.

Why does my vote no longer count in a country that is supposed to be run for the people and by the people? Am I not significant enough to be listened to?

I thought I lived in a democracy. Though my voice is just one of many I believed that joining a chorus who sang the same tune would get my beliefs heard. Reality reveals an empty audience because someone decided not to sell the tickets.

What am I supposed to do about this? What can I do about this? I am a ‘singer’, not the ‘auditorium manager’. Where can I go to be heard?

Techno Stuff

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 16:42:19 GMT

There is so much technology out there that we don’t actually use because there is currently no demand for it. I remember seeing a cel phone at an innovation fair that could do most of the nifty things they do now but it was created like over ten years ago and no one wanted the features. Or they were too expensive to make widely available. I’m not actually sure why it wasn’t a great hit from the get go. I do know that they have since streamlined the technology and made it more compact. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Car’s are another example. They have had electric and hybrid type cars out there for very long time. I believe that it took the war and rising gas prices to stir American’s up to the point where they started to demand these types of vehicles. It will take still more years for the technology to become an every day thing. My children just might be driving cars that run on water. How will that change our countries global policies, if we no longer depend on other countries for gas?

Water run cars are here already, check it out: http://automobiles.honda.com/fcx-clarity/

I wonder what other technological advances are out there that we don’t know about yet but will become an every day part of our lives in the years to come. When you think of the possibilities it’s kind of exciting.

Tired Politics

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 20:24:28 GMT

I am so tired. I worked an all nighter last night. I walked in the door around 5:30 am and about fell over from exhaustion. It only seemed like a moment before I heard my son murmuring his good mornings at my hubby. It probably was since he tends to get up at 6:00 am everyday. What I did between that time and about an hour ago is very vague in my memory. I know I had to have dozed in an out but I also remember yelling at my son for jumping on the bed and running down the stairs like some crazed demon. Flashes of happy moments surface in my memory too. I can recall snuggling with my daughter and stroking my son’s face as he used my belly as a pillow to watch Cartoons.

I’m still tired. Thankfully I have the next two days off. Hours were cut this week and amazingly mine were affected. I’m not exactly sorry about it. The new store manager is nice enough but she really is not organized. I have a feeling that the methods we utilize at the store are all going to be casually thrown out the door and less effective measures will be set in place. A part of me snarls at the change and if I had fur I’d poof up like a cat. Another part of me whispers that I am not gaining anything by arguing with her over the best methods so why should I? This job is only a temporary thing. I will be a teacher in approximately three years. I will make better money in that career than I do now, I will have more time off, and I will see my children more. This is what is important to me.

When checking my email I came across an article on the next presidential election. One candidate in particular I have heard many varied views on and I was curious to see what others thought of her. Yes, her. There is only one ‘HER’.

What do ya’ll think of Mrs. Hillary Clinton?
Who do you favor for the next presidential candidate?

Beep! Beep!

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 07:56:38 GMT

I took my car to the mechanic the other day. I needed two front tires and a flat patched. They told me that it should only take about an hour or so. This hour depended on how fast a driver their delivery guy was. See, their tires are stored at some nearby ware house and have to be picked up.

I thought, “Ok, I can do this,” then strapped my kids into the stroller and headed for Wal-Mart. An hour and a half later I ambled back over to the mechanic with a little less cash and some of the stuff that is always necessary to buy once you enter Wal-Mart land. I was actually amazed that I had managed to extricate myself from the store in a reasonable amount of time.

When I got back to the mechanic I noted that my car was parked in the same spot. In fact, the two front tires were still bald. With a little more scrutiny I discovered that the rear tire was still the doughnut, or whatever it is you call the tire that isn’t a real um... tire.

My son at this point wanted to know if the “Owwie car” was made better yet. I had to break it to him that the car doctor was apparently rather busy and Elvis (our car) had to stay “sleeping” where it was for a while longer. This seemed to satisfy him. We went into the office to find out what the deal was with Elvis.

I like to think in a logical manner. I tend to think other people do too and I am often surprised to find that many actually do not. Think logically. So. I find out that the reason Elvis has not been touched yet is because the tires have not yet arrived from the warehouse. “Why not?” I asked, somewhat perplexed because I had seen the guy leave when I had headed out for Wal-Mart earlier.

Well… the guy managed to get to the warehouse. He even managed to pick my tires up. It was during the return trip that everything went hokey. You see, his truck broke down. The mechanic’s truck went kaput. The driver had to call for someone to drive out and fix it. My logic: shouldn’t you maintain your vehicles if you are a trained mechanic?

I started eyeing my vehicle nervously. I was there for tires. Only tires. And they were giving me a sweet deal on them. Ok. I could still do this. They can’t mess tires up too badly, right..?

Right. I think. At least I don’t have any complaints yet. I ended up having to get four new tires though… the back two had dry rot in them. A whole lot of dry rot. As in the guy ran his nail over the curve of the tire and great flakes of rubber came off. Yeah. So I got four brand new tires. Oh! and an Alignment. /And/ a new nifty credit card from the place to pay it all off.

The whole process only took like five hours. Only.

Retail Sucks

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:19:39 GMT

After a few months of not working interrupted only by three days of casual labor on Black Friday weekend I have become quite relaxed and have gratefully learned to exist without pain. Only the lingering aches from misuse of my poor body have bothered me on occasion but even those were fading.

Why then did I allow myself to go back to that store? I swear, your mind blocks out painful memories. I hardly remember the labor I went through with my son and it was over 24 hours long. I am positive that some similar selective memory trick had erased from my mind the significant amount of pain that standing in one place on a hard surface for several hours inflicts upon a person. Couple that with the anger at the incompetence of the teens working for the company and the frustration with their unwillingness to do what they were hired to do and you will have a horrific experience.

Last night I got home at 12:20 am. The store closed at 9:00 pm. I had refolded four of the six tables, cleaned up a combo, and straightened the hangers on the fixtures around my work area. The remaining tables had very little merchandise on them and were not badly messed up. The back of the store was trashed but would not have been that bad if the associate who had been assigned to it had actually done his job. A manager and two associates closed the store with me. I closed the registers and started the payroll email.

The other manager went home because she had “Overtime” and didn’t want to get yelled at for it. Then I went out and helped straighten the back. I folded the most messed up table there before returning to the back to complete the payroll. I expected them to be finished when I came out. They were /not/. I ended giving aid /again/. In all I probably cleaned about 60% of the store. I worked on the hardest areas, the ones that were the messiest, and I did it faster than these associates who have been working consistently in this store for the past few months that I have not been there.

I wanted to rip someone’s throat out. Instead I cracked a few jokes at their expense which pointed out just how bad they were. It always goes over better that way. They of course apologized but if they do it again I am writing them all up. If they start to slack off and play around when we have that much work to do they are getting a write up. I close next week all five days that I work. If that store is not cleaned on my schedule then they can find other jobs. I do not get paid enough to waste my entire night on their laziness.

I feel better now.

Superstars!

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:32:25 GMT

Finally! My camera has been downloaded to the computer and I have lots and lots of pictures to oogle. Here are some recent pictures for our friends and family too far away to see them often:

Isabella:

Nathaniel:

Halloween Pic, Nate is a cop, I'm his prisoner, and Bella is a little pumpkin (Her shirt has one on it):

Nathaniel just woke up from a nap. He looks so sad.

This chair is the perfect fit:

And that's it for now.

I've got to get back to cleaning the house. I can't describe how icky it is right now. After two weeks of cramming for finals with no maintence done to keep it halfway decent the place resembles a sty. Maybe a sty looks better. My children seem happy with it though. Probably because they made most of the mess. :D

Strike A Pose

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:02:58 GMT

A thought has occurred to me as I am getting ready to head up to bed (finally). I have yet to post any pics of my babies. I have a digital camera filled with tons of recent images but I can’t seem to find the cord that connects it to my computer so I am unable to download them at this point. However, I have quite a few older photos already hidden in the computer. Here are a few:

Once I get T to find that cord we'll download the current ones. Bella is walking now and Nate... well he has gotten bigger.

Finals

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 23:42:24 GMT

I hate taking tests. I nearly always freeze up for the first fifteen minutes or so before relaxing enough to actually focus on passing it. I do rather well once I get passed the terror but every time it hits me I am convinced that this time I am most certainly going to fail.

Today’s final was math. It wasn’t even a hard math. In fact it is called “Elementary Algebra”. Nine years ago I took the class two times and withdrew before I finished. I was young and stupid so of course I waited too long to get a full refund. That means I was given an F even though I did not complete the course. They have a rule at my college that you can only take a course three times. After that you’re screwed. This was my third time.

And I froze on my timed final. I have an A in the class thus far. My grade is within five points or so from being perfect. I /know/ the material. WHY DID I FREEZE??

The kicker? This final is also what they call an exit exam. If you don’t pass it then no matter what you have in the class you fail.

It’s a good thing that about halfway through I suddenly remembered that I knew what I was doing. I managed to finish the test within the allotted time limit. I even managed to go over my work and find an error, which I corrected. I’m pretty sure that I won’t get a perfect score but I feel confident that I will still get at least a B.

B’s are good. I like B’s. They are higher than Cs and will still get me on the Deans list. I want the deans list because it means I get more scholarship money which my family /needs/.

Three tests down, one left to go. Time to cram.

Say what?

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 05:46:50 GMT

Since returning to college after my nine or so year hiatus I have come to the conclusion that the writing standards have plummeted. I am currently enrolled in four online classes, three of which require a significant amount of interaction with the class. For those who are unaware, teachers typically expect students to post to different topics in an intelligent fashion. We are then encouraged to respond to one another’s comments.

A great many of the students have a tendency to use internet jargon when replying. Incomplete sentences, made up words, and strange abbreviations are only a few of the qualities of this type of writing. Sometimes it is even hard to discern what they might be trying to say.

While I am sure this type of writing is acceptable in text messages or when IMing a friend, I find it odd that the students are using it to express themselves in an English credit course. Has the intelligence level of our high school graduates really plummeted so low? It worries me.

I have submitted three large papers and completed a fairly detailed power point for these classes. Various 300 to 500 word essays have also been required. I am proud to say that I have been given full marks for my work. However, I did not put a great deal of effort into on some of the assignments I submitted. If I had been grading them they would not have received A’s, let alone full marks. What sort of papers are these teachers receiving that they give my first draft 100%?

I know that I am not a bad writer. But I also know that I am not /that/ good.

Mariness has informed me that my classes will have brighter students in them the farther along I get. I intend to be a teacher when all is said and done so I hope my fellow future educators exhibit a little more... education.

T's Birthday

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 04:19:20 GMT

Another rare entry from me.

Today, or yesterday now since it is officially tomorrow... right.

October 3rd was T's birthday. We are celebrating it with burgers on Friday. It isn't exactly a party, just a nod to the fact that he's further along on the old fart path of life. A game will shortly follow the consumption of food and the night will end(hopefully)on a cheery note, as this game has the past two times we have played it.

T's sister and brother in-law gave him a brand new Halo edition X-Box 360 for his birthday, Christmas, and making it up for all those times we couldn't get you anything gift. He cried when they handed it over, especially when I told him he had to accept it and couldn't turn it down.

Since then he has been walking on air. He's happier than he's been in a while, I think. This is good since school has been demanding on the both of us.

Any who, just wanted to make note of the significance of the date.

Day 1

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 02:10:17 GMT

So it’s Saturday night and I’m sitting here at the computer. Behind me is Tony on the chair and over on the couch is Fred, Tony’s father. So far we’re all getting along great. Fred has the same sort of quirky humor that Tony has – which is really weird seeing as they haven’t seen each other in a very long time.

We’re getting ready to watch flushed away. Or rather it’s started and I am ignoring it to write here. So that means I’m going to stop in a sec. but I just wanted to write in an update.

Still Here

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 20:13:05 GMT

It has been a while but I’m finally getting around to updating my LJ. I think I’m going to break this down into what has happened and what is going to be happening soon.

What has happened:

Lets see, Christmas eve was great. Bella wore the dress I had bought for her way before I ever knew she was a she. It’s white with pink flowers on it, and about 3 layers of ruffles for a skirt. I typically don’t like frilly things but this dress was sedate enough for my taste.

Christmas day was good too. We joined Tony’s family for dinner which is actually more like an all day meal since we start eating when we get there and don’t usually stop until we’re leaving. Nate got lots of gifts and wanted to help everyone else open theirs. Bella got a little antsy but we passed her around to the relatives and she eventually calmed down.

The new year brought on a few major events. First, we went to Disney with my parents, brother, and his family. My other brother was supposed to come along but he had some personal problems that kept him from joining us. I think his problems have gotten worse because I think he is avoiding the family.

Disney was awesome. My son loved every minute if it and Bella, for the most part, was easy to manage. The only down side was that I didn’t get to go on many rides with Nate as Bella needed to eat and I was the only one who could feed her. Dad just isn’t equipped like me.

February was the month I started back at work. I can only work nights during the week now and weekends so I feel a little weird. I am trying to get into this new routine so I can pick up where I left off. I think I’m getting there.

There are rumors that Bass will be needing a new store manager soon and that I might be considered for the position. Unless they give me a substantial raise for the position, I don’t think I could take it. We are not using daycare right now so all money I bring home is profit. If I have to pay for daycare they’ll have to give me enough money to make it worth it.

What is going to happen:

My friends, Chris and Tina, are getting married. This is a big deal since Chris was rather adamant about never getting married, ever. Personally, I’m happy for them. A long time ago I set the two up. They’ve been dating ever since.

The weekend after my friends are getting hitched my father in law is coming down to visit us from Washington. This will be the first time I ever meet him face to face and the first time Tony has seen him since he was a toddler. I’m very excited and just a little nervous too.
My son is demanding my attention now so I think I’ll call it here. My intent is to update this again sooner rather than later but who knows?

Birthday Party

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:48:01 GMT

Last night a significant number of our friends came over to celebrate a birthday. We do host this every year, it has become our groups tradition to exchange Christmas/Haunaka gifts at this party so it becomes really festive. Everyone gets at least one gift, we all eat dinner and have desert. There is lots of talking and laughing. We see people whom we don't nessarily see often.

This year I put up our Christmas tree and had my son and nephew decorate it. There is always something magical about putting up a tree. This year I was a little overwhelmed by the event. There was just something about watching my baby boy hang ornaments with his cousin.. I don't know. Maybe its just my post partum hormones. :P

Earlier that day we had gone to JC Penneys and had family pictures taken. My parents and one of my brothers came to be apart of the photos. My other brother and his wife did not want to come. Something about their youngest son being horrible to deal with and that they had already had his pictures taken. *shrugs* Whatever. They intend on moving out of state soon and this was likely the last time they had the choice of being part of our family photos. My step-mother is just a little upset.

The point of bringing up the pictures was not to remark on my sibling. It was to gush about my son. He behaved absolutely wonderfuly. For every picture he smiled, posed, and beamed. Even the ones we did not choose to keep were hard to let go because he looked so good in them. He was, as my hubby said, quite a ham.

When I get the pictures and figure out how to use our scanner I'll post one or two here.

Aparently this post was never posted and LJ kept it somewhere. I'm posting it now even though it was from some time in December.

Wee!!

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 22:38:59 GMT

Life has been about as good as I could possibly want it. I've been blessed with two awesome children, been able to paint the inside of my house, update my furniture, and buy a new computer all within the same time frame. There isn't much more I can think of that I want, so for the first time in several years I think you could say that I am content.

I know next year is going to be really hard. What we have been doing recently is sort of a set up for the down time. I don't know if I will be returning to my current job, or even if it is financially plausible for me to go back to work unless I can make more money than I am now. I guess my only real option is to put my faith in God that it will all work out in the end, even if I can't see how it will yet.

However at this moment and during these past few weeks, I couldn't be happier. I know I'll look back one day and remember only the positives .. like my son dancing with me to a silly song about a tomato or my daughter slowly falling asleep in my arms after she's been fed. Good memories. In the end, that's what counts, right?

A new beginning..

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 21:44:24 GMT

Today the modem for our DSL arrived. Eagerly, I connected what needed connecting and plugged what needed plugging into the wall. I turned on our nifty new computer and held my breath as I opened up the web browser. I logged into earthlink .. and then stared at the screen for a few minutes while I internally questioned myself whether or not I was actually already be online.

We had dial up before, you see. Not just dial up .. but AOL dial up. What had taken us upwards of half an hour's worth of frustration in the past was done in seconds. I think I love DSL.

This is the first time in approximately two years that I have been online. I feel like someone who has been playing the first Atari game system when they are suddenly introduced to the XBox 360. There are similarities but a lot has changed while I was away.

I no longer have any of my old Email addresses .. or I don't remember the passwords to get into them. I found my old Live Journal page but couldn't figure out how to gain access to it. After some thought I've just decided to start everything over. New journal, new AIM, maybe a new Yahoo ID. I guess only the people I know and love will be able to find me. :)

I'm very pleased to be online again.